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won’t be able to post much until monday night probably, away with the family~
just a heads up
what if when you killed someone you gained their best trait
#you think you’re killing someone for their brain and you get their nose instead #you think you’re killing someone for their strength and you get their baking skills instead #you think you’re killing someone for their cunning and you get their ability to parallel park (via crazyassmurdererwall)
it breaks my heart knowing that i will never receive a blowjob
what the fuck why do so many people think they will never receive a blowjob
Because we have vaginas
I was sitting on my friends bed with her when she came out as gay
and I was looking through a Chinese food pamphlet
so I put it down, looked at her and said “I was going to suggest ordering food but I see now you’d prefer to eat out”
and I don’t think she’s ever really forgave me
a good response to the question “how old are you?” is something along the lines of “dunno i stopped counting after the first few centuries”
and it needs to be said seriously without smiling or humor or as casually as possible and followed by “so anyway” and a subject change as if it’s completely normal
yeah so i slept with this dude last night and idk we were chatting a bit during the sexy time and for some reason his birthday came up and i was like “wait 25th of september? DUDE me TOO, wtf thats such a coincidence” and he was like “really? we have the same birthday? are u fuckin with me?” and i just looked down at his penis literally inside my vagina and was like “well technically yeah” and he was like haha nice one and high fived me
Two students, James and John were given a grammar test by their teacher. The question was, “is it better to use “had” or “had had” in this example sentence?”
The teacher collected the tests, and looked over their answers.
James, while John had had “had”, had had “had had.” “Had had” had had a better effect on the teacher.
welcome to the english language
holy brain hurt
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